For the past few months, I’ve been trying to figure out what could be a good starting post on this blog. And finally, as I lay dying on my ever-clouded thoughts, I finally thought of something worth writing on this space.
So, let me tell you a gist of my current whereabouts. I’m fucking 18 already. And still a fucking disappointment, at the very least. I had the worst summer of my life, and to think my birthday happens every summer, you can get a hint that I also had a pretty rotten birthday. Now that I’m back at school as a sophomore, I ask myself, “Do I really need this?”. Let me tell you, college sucks. DO NOT EVER ATTEMPT TO GO TO COLLEGE IF YOU’RE UNCERTAIN TO DO SO. ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK! I wish I knew that before I entered this whole mayhem. I regret being dumb & excited during the past. God, I wish I could redo everything. Anyways, to be fairly honest, I don’t really like what I’m doing. This whole “Instrumentation Technology” thing and torturing myself for doing things that I’m not really comfortable to do with. I worry about the future way too much, and that alone is already a colossal stress to handle, bundled with external stress source, like school and life in general. Sometimes I can’t help but to question whether my sanity is still properly oriented like they used to.
And so, my plan right now is to divert all these unnecessary distractions and concentrate on what I should really do. Sidetrack school, and aim for the “real” goal. I’m not gonna sit and stare as my plans drift off of my sleeve. I’m not going to be that type of person. I’m tired, and I choose to change. I know a lot of people will judge me for what I’m about to do but I’m not going to stop myself just because they told me to do so. I WILL DO WHAT I WANT AND THERE’S NO STOPPING ME.
And for the very least, I hope this is the last “drama post” I’ll ever gonna write on this website. I just felt the sudden urge to vent out. I hope this stops here.